To Hide Behind a Smile
by Princess Unicorn123
Summary: Sometimes, it's so hard to be happy. To smile and pretend everything's okay. Tohru realises that all she does is hide behind her smile, when inside she's breaking. Will Yuki realise that there is something wrong before its too late? A collaboration between Princess Unicorn123 and the High Queen of Angst.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is a collaboration between the High Queen of Angst and myself. I wrote Tohru's part and the High Queen wrote Yuki's. Hope you enjoy! **

Tohru sat on her bed, trying to find the will to get up. She had been up all night again. The nightmares kept coming back, no matter how many sleeping tablets she sighed and rubbed her eyes. There was no use dwelling on it. She had to get dressed for school and do the housework. Plus, she had to make dinner and go to work later...she couldn't be late

Tohru got up and went to the bathroom. She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had heavy, dark circles and her skin was washed out and pale. The sleepless nights had been taking their toll.

Tohru sighed. This wasn't healthy at all. She had never been bothered by nightmares in the past. They had only started after...after the accident.

Since then, Tohru couldn't remember the last time she had slept the whole night.

She had taken to wearing foundation, just to hide how much sleep she was losing.

Hana and Uo could tell there was something wrong with her no matter how many times she told them she was alright...

Tohru reached for the bottle that contained her foundation and found it empty. She remembered she had ran out of and was supposed to buy some from the drug store yesterday.

Tohru sighed. She would have to go without it brushed her teeth and got ready for school. It was going to be a bad day...

Tohru went downstairs and was surprised to find Yuki already up. It looked like he had been up for awhile.

"Good morning!" Tohru greeted happily.

"_Good morning, Miss Honda!"_

_A warm smile immediately tugged at the corner of Yuki's lips in response to Tohru's chipper greeting, his amethyst gaze traveling away from his school work. He had been waiting a while for her to wake, and his pale cheeks flushed with this thought. _

_Yuki had needed to rouse early because he was in the process of studding for a particularly difficult exam. And...honestly...he had actually been done with the material for some time he couldn't bring himself to go and wake Tohru up, though he had desperately craved her company in the quiet of this morning. _

_Her greeting alone had suddenly brought the whole world into being...though the poor substitute of the sunrise had occurred long ago. It was only when she spoke that he truly felt the warmth of daylight. She had become his Tohru took her place next to Yuki, the two sat in a moment of peaceful silence. Yuki drank in Tohru's presence. Her light. Her warmth as she offered him another one of her beautiful smiles._

"_How did you sleep, Miss Honda?" Yuki asked cordially, only to witness the briefest flicker cross Tohru's warm features...washed away as her smile became iconically sheepish._

"_Well...I really didn't." She admitted before continuing. "I had a lot of studying to do, and I ended up working through most of the night."_

"_You could have asked me for help." Yuki murmured, his amethyst gaze now taking in her pale skin, lines of fatigue, and dark shadows under her azure eyes._

"_...help..." Tohru whispered, her voice carrying a certain weight that Yuki thought didn't quite fit with who she was. "No. I couldn't, Yuki-kun." She finally responded, the warm happy smile now returning to her lips. "You already help me so much with my homework!"_

_Yuki's inquisitive gaze continued to take in the minute expressions that seemed to ebb and flow across Tohru's beautiful features. It was clear that there was something she didn't want to tell him. And that left Yuki feeling maybe he was reading too much into this. Maybe she was just tired after a long night of studying. _

_Yuki knew he'd had his fare share of those sleepless nights. Or maybe she was just too embarrassed to ask him for help again. He knew that she was often frustrated and felt quite guilty when she needed to take him away from his own studies in order to ask questions._

_His eyes continued to watch her as she cheerfully clapped her hands together.'Okay!" Tohru chirped happily! 'Who's ready for some breakfast!" And with that she got up from her place next to watched as she made her way to the kitchen. _

_And while she thought he couldn't see, Yuki noticed her expression fall. Not in fatigue. Not in weariness. No...in something completely different. Something else entirely. And he knew that look. Intimately. Though he couldn't comprehend why it now shaped her was his expression._

_The one that marred the features in the mirror every time he had managed to survive his confinement in his 'special room.' _

_When he had lived another day through Akito's horror, even though he wished he hadn't. _

_The one when he was standing so close... Teetering on the edge of the dark crevasse of his mind. When the nightmares became too real. Too painful. Just...too much. When, really, all he wanted to do...was..._

"_Tohru..."_

_His gentle voice murmured to her as she departed, sucking in his lower lip in apprehension as she turned towards him once more._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's chapter Two of my collaboration with the one and only High Queen of Angst. Please review! And show the High Queen some love! She rules! :3 **

**The High Queen Of Angst:**** Indeed I do rule. And have taken your precious Princess hostage. This is a hostel takeover. I have taken a lesson from the book of Slim Shady...and she is locked in my basement. If you want her returned to you...then you will review.**

"Yes, Yuki-kun?" Tohru asked brightly.

Yuki had a strange look on his face...was it because of her?

"Are...are you alright, Miss Honda?" Yuki asked softly, looking at her intently.

Tohru froze. Was she alright?

For some reason, she had been getting...so depressed. It was so strange since she had so much to be thankful for right now but...she wasn't. It felt like she was sinking further and further into some dark hole, like she was slowly becoming overcome with all these negative, ugly emotions...

But could Tohru tell Yuki that?

To burden Yuki with something like that would be unfair. He, after all, had been so kind to her and she knew he had just as many problems as she did.

Tohru smiled.

"Yes! I'm just a little tired! Would you like some tea?" She asked, trying to divert his attention from herself.

Tohru hurried into the kitchen before Yuki could answer. His simple, innocent question seemed to have such weight behind it. Like he knew just how hard things had been lately.

But...she couldn't tell anyone. Not even Yuki. It was her burden and she was sure she could carry it on her own.

Besides, what did her feelings matter? The Sohma family had so much to deal with, an ancient curse, a cruel leader, several broken hearts...compared to them...what did her little worries matter?

Anyway, she had so much to do. She couldn't just let the time slip by!

Tohru filled the teapot with water and put it on the stove. She paused and looked over at the living room, wondering how Yuki could have picked up that she wasn't okay...

Tohru sighed. He really was like a prince. So selfless and caring...it seemed like he could do anything. It was no wonder most of the girls in school were in love with him.

Tohru smiled. Sometimes, she had caught herself a few times wondering if she was in love with Yuki. But...she had always dismissed it as silly and pointless. Tohru wasn't the kind of person people like Yuki fell for. She was plain and clumsy, she was more like a maid than a princess. But what if...

Tohru suddenly remembered the tea, which had started to boil over. She rushed to the stove and picked it up, forgetting how hot the sides would be. She dropped it and cried out as the hot water splashed her hands.

Yuki ran in from the living room, flinging the door open.

"_Miss Honda!" Yuki's voice came panicked, his heart racing from the sound of Tohru's scream...his Tohru._

_His eyes took in the scene with increasing horror. Tohru was hunched over, clutching her hands as her eyes met his...filled with tears of agony and fear._

"_Miss Honda! What happened?!" His words came rushed as he gracefully drew to her side, attempting to inspect her hands as she held them protectively to her body._

"_I'm sorry." She hiccuped through her tears, turning her face away. "...so...sorry..." She kept repeating as Yuki continued to coax her injured hands away from her body._

_Yuki didn't understand. Why should she be sorry? What was she even sorry for?_

"_Miss Honda. Please! Let me help you." He whispered, trying to make his voice calm and even._

_He needed to know how bad it was._

_How bad was it...?_

_He watched Tohru slowly extend her hands to him, her apologies flowing like her tears. For the breath of a heartbeat Yuki's own stopped. Her hands. They were so painfully bright red. And he could tell that the skin was beginning to bubble up and blister over. Biting down on his lower lip he stopped himself from reaching out to take them, knowing it would only cause more pain and damage. But he needed to do something. Quickly._

"_I'm calling Hatori." He murmured, his voice decisive as he began to move into action._

"_No!" Tohru's voice came loud, gaining his attention. "Please..." She mumbled. "I'll be fine, Yuki-kun. Please don't bother Hatori-san. I know he's busy. I..." She choked back. "I'm fine...really."_

_Yuki stood. Completely dumbfounded at her words. Something was wrong. No. Everything was wrong. Nothing about this was right._

"_Tohru..." Yuki murmured her name like a prayer from his lips, his beautiful amethyst gaze drinking his Tohru in. "You're not fine."_


End file.
